Our Cipher

 I was recently searching for a song, it was a song with Piano music and some random voices which had no meaning but perfectly fit the music. I didn't remember the song's name, nor do I remember who was the artist, I just knew that I loved it and it exists somewhere. 

So I decided to look at my YouTube history and see if I can see if it turns up. The search starts with the latest date and goes further in the past and as I was scrolling it hit me that this history in a way reflects so much of my own past. I could see some Turkish songs in the search at some point, and then a lot of Egyptian songs, and then Camel Band came and it was as if I was I was seeing the reel of my past. 

Each song had a story, a memory attached to it. Each song for me was a moment I remembered and each story had people who shared that moment with me and I saw her too in those moments, I saw our lives together in those songs. I saw our coming together and I also saw us transforming into strangers in that history. Every moment, every search, every bit of it felt so intimate, something which is hard to explain to anyone and even harder to share.

That's where my Pops lives with me, in the seemingly meaningless YouTube history where I see us sharing so many moments. A story which only we could understand, a story that is a cipher for others. A cipher which has only two keys, I have one and she has one. What could be more intimate than that?