Friday, June 18, 2021

I need some touch-up here

 I really wish there was a way to redo the past. I am not saying that so that I can undo my horrible mistake, well if given a chance I would love to, but I know that's not possible, second chances seldom happen and mostly in work of fiction. What I am talking about here is just tiny additions and deletions to the past events and not about removing the entire event. 

As much as I live in the past nowadays, I see us and I always wonder, why did I not kiss her enough when I had the chance, why did I not tickle her more in that moment when I had the chance, why did I not cuddle her more on our couch when I had the chance. I saw her taking shower while I used to brush my teeth so many times, and I wonder why did I not just open the door and kiss her everywhere every single time while I had the chance.

I know why I didn't, because I didn't think it would end, I thought I will be able to do that all my life, I took the future for granted. And here I am now sitting in that barren future, wishing for touch-ups to fill my past with more love.

You know your future is worthless when you are more interested in making your past better.

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