Ikigai or Rooh

 When I first heard the Japanese word "Ikigai", I loved its meaning, but I think at that time I misunderstood its meaning. Its funny how I loved the wrong interpretation of this word. In simple terms it means "the reason for being". Its simple, but the question is what is the reason for being? I used to think having a dream, an ambition/aspiration or maybe having a goal is what Ikigai means. I was wrong.

To me the word has taken another meaning, to me it started meaning her. She was the reason for my being. Goals, ambitions and dreams were just "something to do" and not THE reason for being. I lost my "Ikigai", and without it, nothing makes sense. 

We have a word for this in Urdu as well- "Rooh". It can mean a lot of things under different contexts, and I associate with one of those meanings. For me Rooh means the thing which makes us alive. The difference between someone dead and alive is not simply the stopping of bodily functions, but also the vanishing of purpose for being. That innate desire, purpose, reason or whatever else you want to call it, to me that's what Rooh means. 

She is my first thought in the morning, and the last thought at night. In that way she was my Rooh.